This post is about something I'm not good at.... saying no. It's a lesson that I've tried to learn in the past couple of years and while I'm getting better at it, I still haven't mastered it. I think it's a girl thing. Or a mom thing. Maybe just a me thing. I like to be needed! I love to do things for other people. But sometimes I have to say no. I just can't do everything for everyone!!! Especially if I need to take care of myself and my family. They really should come first, after all!!!!
But this spring I got roped into something of which I'm pretty proud. I have a friend from my church who is an awesome single dad. He has two teenagers that he is raising alone. He's doing a great job! His kids are polite, smart, eager to help others, friendly, and involved in church. This fall, my friend (who is a youth group leader himself) was hurt, at youth group! His foot was toast. He's since been off work, had two surgeries and has now lost his job due to having to take so much time off. He's broke. His daughter graduated. There was no way he could do a graduation party. My Bible study group wanted to help. I was volunteered to lead the effort. I didn't say no. She really deserved a party!
So, I planned the party. I shopped for the party (thanks to the financial donations of the ladies of my Bible study group.) I rented the room for the party. I basically put on the party. Did I mention everyone was mysteriously out of town or busy with other engagements??? Yup. I had two ladies come and help decorate. One brought veggies. The rest was me. Well, the Dad did make food and his Mom did too (yum) but the rest was me. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm really not that great of a party planner, but rather to show that I'm a slow learner. I needed to say no. This was stress I didn't need!!! But I really like this family. They don't deserve all the things that are happening to them. It really wasn't hard to do. I didn't spend much of my own money, just some time. What's time and a little effort to help someone in need???? I'm glad I did it. So sometimes it's ok to say yes. Sometimes it's good to feel needed. Sometimes, you just need to do the right thing.
I don't know if I learned my lesson. Mainly because I don't know which lesson I was supposed to learn! Am I taking on too much? Sometimes. Is it good to help people in their time of need? Yes! Even if that means you don't get your laundry or grocery shopping done for the week? Sometimes, that's ok too.... I'll make up for the groceries tomorrow, and as for the laundry... good thing we all have extra clothes!!!!
So I'm looking forward to a weekend with nothing planned. Then I send one kid away for a youth group trip for a week and the other finishes driver's ed and starts a temporary part time job!!!! After that... I'm taking a week off. I need a break!!!!
TTFN...
10 years ago
3 comments:
Proud of you, Nik! Also, housework-- you DO have two able-bodied young men at home who SHOULD be taking that load off your back for the summer. Ask me about our "chore chart" we started with my kids for the summer- it's really helping!
Where will Tom be working? Sounds like it'll be good for him- get out and earn some cash and stay busy!
I tried a chore list last year with little success... would love your ideas!!! Tom's working at the store where he had his school job this year. It's only for next week for the mornings before driver's ed, but he's excited! I'm hoping it will turn in to more, but we'll see!!!
We put together a list of 10 chores that need to be done by Friday afternoons. Each chore is worth $1 a week, and must be completed to our satisfaction.
1. Sweep hardwood floors & use dustpan.
2. Clean guest bathroom toilet & floor.
3. Clean guest bathroom sink/counter/mirror.
4.-5. Same as 2-3 but in master bathroom.
6. Clean floor & vacuum bedroom.
7. Sort dirty laundry & put away clean clothes.
8. Put away shoes & sweep laundry room floor.
9. Either dust wood surfaces in living room or clean glass slider door.
10. Put away "stuff" from kitchen & living room.
Any duplicate chores must be done 48 hours apart, so, bathrooms get done twice a week! We told them that a full 4-week chart, with everything done on time, would earn a "bonus," but we haven't decided what that would be yet.
We're going for "minimal reminders," since this IS their opportunity to earn $. This first week, we've given a few gentle reminders, but nothing hard core as in "You can't do X until you do chores." So far, they've both responded very well with minimal whining. A few things haven't been done to the standard I would do, but heck- it's a learning experience and my house looks presentable!
How much longer does Tom have driver's ed? Once he's done, does he have a permit to drive with an adult? We might have to take him out in the Jetta and teach him to drive a stick!
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